It’s funny how things just come to be. I had a very simple goal this week. Not hard…pretty straight forward…but yet I failed to accomplish it…I’m more than able to accomplish it and do it well. But an old friend reared his ugly head back into my life…
It’s taken me a couple of hours to figure out how it’s manifested itself back into my life again. It hid under a mental rock. Something that I’ve known has been there for quite some time…it was being ignored because of all the other fun, exciting events and accomplishments I’ve been having since the Bike Tour. My fear found a way to creep back into existence. I knew I had this issue…I thought I killed it…I figured the Bike Tour would have been enough…I was wrong.
I’m afraid of success…
This time I’m going to have to partake in the grandest and most epic journey I’ve ever imagined to kill my fear of success. I assumed a big accomplishment would have smashed that fear into existence. I knocked it on it’s ass with the Bike Tour but I didn’t kill it off completely. I know I’m afraid of being truly successful because I’ve been avoiding and procrastinating on big projects. I am literally siting in the perfect storm of an Epic accomplishment and I fucked up a big stepping stone scheduled for this weekend. Talk about self-sabotage…I know what I need to do and how to do it but yet I found every reason and excuse to not perform.
I can’t help to wonder if the cause of my fear is that I’m afraid that the higher I climb in life, the further I’m going to fall when I make a mistake. Or possibly that I fear accomplishing my goals, and realizing that I have the power to be successful, I may actually cause an intense regret that I didn’t act sooner.
It’s been said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
Am I afraid of my own light? The very thing that caused me to go on the Bike Tour in the first place was my light. I haven’t spoken of this often but I had thoughts of extinguishing my light…I wanted to end it all. I was too afraid of the pain that that process would have entailed. So I decided on the Bike Tour instead. Now I’m faced with a fear of not letting letting my light shine at it’s brightest.
I know I have to face this fear, bring it to the surface, and analyze it rationally to weaken and kill this fear once and for all.
I only know one way of doing this…go on another Journey…and it has to be beyond Epic…it has to be a Mission of a Lifetime.
This will take everything I have and more…but it has to be if I’m going to let my light shine. By doing this, it’s been said that “We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
So here is My Mission…
In 2013, an FAO Report 1 announced that Mexico is the World’s Fattest Country with 32.8 % of the population classed as Obese. Mexico’s Population in 2013 was 118,395,054 2.
My Mission is to lower the Obesity Rate of Mexico to 30%. Based on the aforementioned statistics, I must help 3,329,365 Mexicans improve their eating habits and increase their physical activity.
It’s time to let my light shine with an intensity I’ve never known…